As you may have read in my previous posts in this “Friend Series,” each post were things I have learned and realized that we as people do grow apart from others. A few years ago I lost two of my best friends due to my selfishness and my integrity. At the time, I always thought we would be friends no matter what. We had met through work and we were like the local version of Destiny’s Childs (yes we broke up too lol). We did everything together and when people saw one of us, they already knew the other two wasn’t too far away. I loved them dearly and one day I decided to have a threesome with one of my best friends to include her ex-boyfriend. It wasn’t planned or anything and to be honest I never actually thought it would have happened. Nevertheless, after the threesome I decided to have sex with my best friend (at the moment) ex behind her back and I kept that secret from her. She would ask me questions about her ex and I would lie by deny everything until one day she was riding with me to the store and found his work badge in my car. She didn’t say anything to me much about it but she told our other best friend everything about how hurt she was and I felt horrible. The other best friend thought I used to meet up with him by lying about things which was not the case but it put a damper on our relationship. I also felt she was more loyal to her because when she stopped talking to me, the other stopped talking to me also. Eventually an entire year goes by and Im still apologizing and trying to get my friends back until one day my ex best friend contacts me and we had lunch and we started hanging out more. I still felt like the friendship wasn’t the same because I felt like I truly betrayed and lost her trust. I felt like how can you be so forgiving to me when I haven’t forgave myself for what I had done but we still tried to make it work. What bothered me the most was that the other best friend decided she wanted to be friends again after she (the best friend I had sex with her ex with) and I started back conversing and hanging out. We tried to make it work but deep down I felt myself distancing myself from them because I still believed I wasn’t a good friend. Most of the time, I would only call and ask them only when I needed them. In addition, I wasn’t able to attend major events that they were having due to my finances and they didn’t truly understand that so I didn’t want to keep being a burden on them by asking them for things. I was beating myself up over everything I had done and I just felt like maybe it’s time for us to truly part ways because it wasn’t the same anymore. I always felt they will bring up the incident again and that they will never trust me as a friend anymore. I miss them and the memories that we did share but I learned throughout the years that it's okay to move on. I have forgiven myself for the things I did to them and for the things I wish could have done for them. I love them with all of my heart because we shared some great memories together but our season together as “Destiny's Child” has grown apart.
This was one of the hardest post I've ever had to write because I know people are going to look at me differently but this is something I wanted to do for myself. I had gotten to the point that every person I met I would push away some type of away. I was afraid to let anyone close because I am afraid that what I had done will happen to me and that is a pill I was not ready to swallow. I learned that it’s ok and life still goes on no matter what choices I made. I prayed and realized everything happened the way it happened for a reason and I’m not saying it was the right way but I am saying I am finally at peace with it all. I can now talk about it and hopefully this helps someone else out to not make the mistakes I made because I never thought I would have been that friend that had sex with her best friend’s ex. This is my Naked Truth and I am finally Born Freely.
JACKET: (Old, Nasty Gal)
SKIRT: (Old, Nasty Gal)
TOP: (These Pink Lips) HERE
BOOTS: (Old, It’s Fashion)