Sarah Neely

2018: No Negativity!!!

Sarah Neely
2018:  No Negativity!!!
Some of us have habits that we just need to get rid of. We also have things we need to incorporate more into our lives then again some people just don’t give a damn about shit. It is officially 2018, listed below are things we need to leave behind forever lol. 

Relationships

1. Thinking sex can keep a man.  Women just because you can fuck and suck really well (which is very subjective) doesn’t mean that will keep your man (or whoever man). Do you not realize that everyday there is a woman somewhere turning 18 years (hell some start sooner) old everyday, which means your ass can be replaceable just like that 18 year that’s thinking only with her vagina. 

2. Competing with experienced women.  Young ladies under 30 listen and listen closely. If you are dating a guy or in a relationship with a guy and you know/find out he has a woman that is over 35. Just leave him the fuck alone. She ain’t going to ever leave him alone. She is invested in that man. She will fight your ass over that dick. He can cheat on her, lie, steal or whatever but she ain’t leaving (Oh and he knows she isn’t). She has put time and money into that dick so I’m telling you now.  Let it go boo. These types of women have low self esteem and often feel like they can’t start over and if they do these type of women tend to rush relationships because they can’t seem to find a man in the length of time they want.  

3. Competing with hoes.  Some of you women that’s over 35 and think you are going to disrespect the other woman.  This generation has changed, they will still fuck your man so don’t think just because you say “he is taking care of home, he is taking care of me, he loves me, he takes me to meet the family, he comes home to you every night, etc”.  Newsflash these hoes don’t care. 9 times out of 10 she ain’t asking for shit (these are the ones who young and dumb). As long as they know they’re fucking your man that’s all they care about so don’t think for one second you are ever one-upping a hoe because most of them don’t care. 

4.  Trying to be a “Main chick”.  yes the ones who say I’m the main chick. I’m sorry to tell you this but y’all sound dumb as hell. Being a main chick means: I know my man is cheating but I’m the one he comes home to every night. Stop fooling yourselves. Y’all know that shit hurts. Y’all know y’all get tired of arguing over a chick he saying he ain’t fucking with or fucking with anymore. Not to mention that shit hurts no matter if he cheats on you with someone who is better looking or has something going for themselves or someone who is less appealing to your eyes. Just stop because y’all are the type of women that live bashing other women. 

5. Attracting bad men.  Some of y’all women need to stop saying “all men cheat” or “he just being a man”. Naw those are the type of men you attract because you are broken and your ass is impatient. Not to mention some of y’all women are so shallow that you are so worried about what others think of you that you can’t settle with a lame (which is subjective) or a good man who really care about your ass because his physical features doesn’t align with your expectations on how a man should look so you friend zone him because of your insecurities or you just find everything wrong with him, meanwhile you got this so called man laying up with you who doesn’t give a damn if you had a good day at work or if you have even eaten for that matter. Nevertheless, he still finds the time to cheat and complain but hasn’t noticed your new hairstyle until you mention it so don’t flatter yourself. 

6. Thinking he will change.  Women if he hasn’t changed nor worked on the things you have issues within the first 6 months to a year. Leave his ass alone!  He ain’t going to change for you. You just have to accept the fact that you’re not the one he wants to put effort into (but he knows your ass going to stick around) so stop falling in love with his potential. If he isn’t aligning with the things you want from a man, don’t settle. 

7. Rushing your relationships.  Women in your 20’s stop putting pressure on yourself just because you feel like you have to have a man. Enjoy your 20’s. Date!!!! Date multiple men, figure them out. Learn yourself and the type of guys you are attracting. Don’t allow society to rush you into something that you know isn’t what you want. Focus on you. Be selfish with your time. Learn who you ar.  Stop being defined by being with someone. 

8. Blaming ourselves for their mistakes.  Women stop blaming yourself for these so called men who cheats on you. It’s not you, they are shitty people. Don’t lower your self esteem and standards to him because he can’t keep his dick inside his pants. Value yourself first. 

9. Rushing marriages.  Women just because you are in your 30s doesn’t mean you should be married with kids.  I know it’s tempting when you see everyone else your age getting married and or having kids but you never know what’s it’s like in their relationships (some of them may not even be happy). Those things are not aligned with what God has for you. Tell your family to stop talking about it and pressuring you to do things you don’t want at this moment.  You know what’s best for you and just stay firm to that. 

10.  Women if you know your man cheating on you and you still ain’t left yet there's no need to complain and keep looking for shit because you already know you ain’t leaving. If you want to keep crying and complaining but still not leave then at least cheat back. Maybe you will cheat your way into a good ass man and you will finally get the courage to leave his ass because apparently talking to your single ass friends, telling them the same story (she know you ain’t going anywhere too and she tired of your shit) about how he dogging your ass ain’t made you leave yet then cheat back hell. 

I can relate to each of these because I have been the side chick, I have thought sex with keep a man, I rushed relationships, I blamed myself for my past relationship problems. Which i have shared with you and will continue to share. 

Military 

1. Military personnel.  Civilians (people who are not in the military) we do not know everyone who is in the military. No we don’t know your cousin who just joined, no we don’t know your friend who lives in Ohio who has been in the military 3 years, no we don’t know so stop asking hell. 

2. Trump.  Civilians we do not know what Trump has going on. We do not know if there is going to be a war.  We do not know. Just like you don’t know what’s going on in corporate at your jobs we sure as hell don’t know either. 

3. News.  Civilians we do not sit around and talk about what’s going on the news. We really don’t give a damn to be honest. 

4. Military actions.  Civilians stop asking us if we’ve ever shot any one, have you been overseas, do you want to go overseas?  Like those are some of the most annoying questions to ask. 

5. Wealth.  Civilians some of us are not rich in the military. If you want to know what our pay is just go online and google and it’s all there it’s no secret so stop thinking we got money. 

6. Dumb questions.  Civilians some people who are in the military don’t like talking about the military so stop asking all them damn questions. We rather talk about ice melting OKAY!! 

* Yes I’m in the military and I’m speaking on the behalf of MYSELF!  

Women

1. Shaming other women.  Women stop shaming other women on things you don’t like or agree with. We are not the same. Just because you wasn’t raised like the next doesn’t make her any different from you. Because I’m quite sure your ass ain’t perfect. 

2. Pushing your beliefs on others.  Women stop getting mad at other women for wearing weave and makeup. It’s their choice not yours. It’s their money not yours. Stop making everything about you because they don’t give a damn what you think. Some women wear it for personal choices just like you don’t wear it. 

3.  Getting mad at the other chick.   Women stop getting mad at the other woman about a cheating ass no good man. (Now if she disrespecting you that’s a different story). You will be amazed on how your so called man be texting and calling the other chick saying how much they miss them (it’s your man who dies the reaching out) so check your man. Not to mention when you confront the side chick, majority the time she already know about you. That means you really made a fool out of yourself because she just made you step out of character and reach out to her. She been waiting on your ass at the door. She already know you ain’t leaving him. 

4. Backwards compliments.  Women stop with the backwards compliments. Your hair pretty but I like that other style more. Like stop with the bullshit. If you knew you wasn’t going to give an actual compliment don’t say shit. Because if you haven’t noticed when you say stuff like that it makes you seem like a fan because you be paying that much attention to her notice changed about herself. Maybe you should be her man hell since you stalking her. 

5. Sideways remarks.  Women if someone says “you look like you just woke up” just say “what’s your excuse” and walk away because 9 times out of 10 you didn’t just awaken they just low key saying you ugly today.  Then of course they will come back and say I didn’t mean it like that. Yes bitch you did mean it like that. Like what other way did you mean hell so then she will then go tell her “yes” men team about how you got smart with her but she will never mention how she came at you. Now she got a whole team of bitches who don’t like you now. 

6. Questionable besties.  Women start paying attention to your so called “besties.”  They text you and call out of the blue and ask “you must be mad at me”. Yep those type been talking about you behind your back and thought it may have gotten back to you. This is eclectically if you know you are not mad at them at all you just been busy and not calling as much. 

7. Being too humble.  Women if you are at work or out and you looking good as hell and another female approaches you to say “you good today”.say “I know” and walk away because they think you look a mess on other days.  It’s petty season. No explanation is needed so stay firm to your response. Oh them bitches going to be mad!  

8. Looking for something wrong.  Women start complimenting each other and stop staring trying to find something wrong. Y’all are mad whack for that shit. Sit your jealous ass down and ask her what she does to keep herself up like that. I promise women love talking about themselves to other women. 

9. Lacking confidence.  Women it’s ok to love yourself, compliment yourself and be confident in everything you do. You should!  You are your number one fan so brag women brag!!!

10.  If you’re able to be financially independent as a woman I’m so happy for you, and that’s amazing, but please stop putting down women who do depend on men. If we could all be independent we would but why be mad at women for being positioned to have to depend on men? You sound super weird and I don’t get why it’s a standard thing “I’ve never had to depend on a man unlike you” like.. okay? that’s completely personal and not something to be mad at another woman about.

11.  Women stop labeling people as “classy" solely based on the way they dress.  Just because they are dressing differently from you does not make them any better or less than you. Most of all, stop stereotyping women as “hoes” just because you prefer to be covered because there are a lot of “covered hoes".  Stop that shit because you come off as jealous and judgmental. 

I have more to talk about but I will talk about them in another post one day, so women if you’ve already started the year off with any of these, we can start over February 1, 2018 (which of course is black history month). This means we will be celebrating blacks who made a difference, as well as making a difference within ourselves first as women.  If we can come together we can be very powerful but we have to put our jealous and selfish ways to side and be our powerful selves. 

Photographed by Divian Conner

Photographed by Divian Conner

Photographed by Divian Conner

Photographed by Divian Conner

Photographed by Divian Conner

Photographed by Divian Conner

Photographed by Divian Conner

TOP:  (Thrift Store)

BOTTOMS:  (Old, Missguided)

BELT:  (Vintage, The Attic)

SHOES:  (Old, Tony Bianco)

EARRINGS:  (Sold Out, It’s Fashioni)

CLUTCH:  (Old, TJ Maxx)