Sarah Neely

Relationships and Friendships

Sarah Neely
Relationships and Friendships

In life there are some things that you shouldn’t tell anyone but yourself and God.  The saying is very true, “if you don’t want something to be repeated, then don’t tell anyone”.  Telling your business to girlfriends (despite how long or short the friendship is) comes with its own risks and exclusiveness is not guaranteed.  As women often times we tend to vent to our friends about issues in our romantic relationships (Yes, he may have pissed you off, lied to you or even been out of line) but ultimately relationships are between just two people.  Those outside of the relationship don’t know all of the details of your romance.  In addition, they don’t understand the pros and cons of your relationship in the way that you do.  Certain friends you just cannot vent to; this includes the jealous friend, the gossip friend and the perfect friend.

The jealous friend is usually the friend who doesn’t want you to have a man at all!  Then when you have one, they’re sitting back waiting on the opportunity for your man to mess up so they can welcome you back to the single life.  For example, you can tell your jealous friend that your man showed up only 20 minutes late and they’ll be trying to convince you to drop him like a bad habit.  This is definitely not the friend to vent to.

The gossip friend is the friend who will tell your business to anyone who will listen!  They don’t even have your best interest at heart.  This is the one who usually just wants to hear the drama and spread it so they can talk down about you, your man and your relationship. Nine times out of then this friend really don’t give a damn about what you have to say, instead they care only about getting the scoop so that they can spread it.

Last but not least is the so called perfect friend that tries to make everyone think they live in a perfect world (this is the friend who may be with a guy who cheats on her ass but the rest of the world would never know).  They are usually very secretive about their business but as soon your man fucks up they are calling you a fool!  If you find yourself telling your friend your business and he or she rarely shares anything with you and pretends to have the perfect relationship without any issues, then this might not be the best friend to vent to.

Overall, I’ve noticed that many women think that if you don’t tell your friends your business, then they aren’t really your friends.  Some may agree with this statement, but I disagree.  In my opinion, you can still be friends with people without talking about your relationship or relationship status.  If you choose to discuss that, it’s your choice but if it’s something that you don’t want to talk about then it does not make you any less of a friend.  Recently I had a situation with someone I truly considered as a friend.  We were having a discussion about my dating situation and I informed her that I don’t tell her all of my business when it comes to my relationships.  The conversation got heated and she stated then I guess we are not friends.  It hurt me to hear her say this because I would never say those words to her just because she didn’t tell me anything about her relationship.  I honestly think relationships, situation ships, etc. is something that is discussed with your significant other or partner and not with your best friend.  Not saying that you don’t have to mention anything about it but you don’t have to go into full detail about your relationship or whatever.  It does not mean that you are a bad friend or diminishes the strength of your friendship at all.  I don’t expect my friends to tell me their relationship problems whether it’s good or bad.  I don’t base my friendships on what you tell me about your life, hell that’s your damn life if you choose to discuss it with me then hey I’m all ears but if not I would not be upset nor offended.  So to say I’m not talking bad about her, it’s just a situation I will never understand.

If you have any relationship vs friendship issues, feel free to mention them in the comments.

Photographed by Divian Conner

Photographed by Divian Conner

Photographed by Divian Conner

Photographed by Divian Conner

Photographed by Divian Conner

Photographed by Divian Conner

Photographed by Divian Conner

Photographed by Divian Conner

Photographed by Divian Conner

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